Confinement Ordeal

Whilst trying to get used to a new born babe, I had to get used to my confinement lady too. After being discharged from the hospital, my confinement lady arrived at my house as well.

A confinement lady is someone, usually a mid-40s to 50s woman who takes care of the meals of the post-natal woman as well as the new born babe so that the post-natal woman can have enough rest during the 1 month post-delivery. It is said that a woman must take care of herself well during this period otherwise she will suffer pains in the later part of her life (??)

She exclaimed that the baby must not go hungry!! And that due to the constant crying, "wind" would go into my baby's stomach and cause extreme discomfort to her. My milk flow had not initiated smoothly upon discharge. She insisted that we must go and get some infant formula for my girl. As I had always wanted to fully breastfeed her at least for the first few months, I was rather reluctant to do that. However under the pressure of the confinement lady and my other relative, I gave in as it was already Day3 and I supposed the baby's body reserves should be use up by now. One had to be pragmatic. The baby was quite poor thing, screaming at the top of her voice.

The meals cooked were rather nice. Mostly "heaty" food which is suitable for the post-natal woman e.g. pig liver/kidney cooked in sesame oil. Lots of soup as well. However all the stuff made me really hot.

I bought those chinese herbs (da feng cao) for bathing to get rid of "wind" in the body. I had thought I would be able to wash my hair daily with these daily. To my utter dismay, the confinement lady said I could only wash my hair weekly after I negotiated with her. (she had said no washing initially) I had cut my hair short to facilitate drying of hair during this period. It was too short for me to tie it up. All the sweat from activities like eating heaty food and breastfeeding the baby got my hair really irky. Sometimes I will use the water to secretly wet my hair and shampoo slightly too. The Malay message lady who helped me message for the first week also used oil on my hair during the sessions. After that I always felt that "I NEED A HAIRWASH!!!" It was totally unbearable.

The confinement lady always commented that my milk production was too slow. I could hardly pump 30ml each time from both breasts. She always compared me to this woman who can produce 2 x 8 ounces each time. Depressed I started calling all my friends who had experience with breastfeeding and asked if it was normal for my milk production to be so slow. I also called the parentcraft helpline for my hospital but they were not of any help. They just kept telling me to keep stimulating and drink lots of hot soup which I faithfully did. I was drinking this red-date longan soup by litres per day.

She also fed my baby 1-2 ounce of formula milk after I latched my baby, saying that the baby was hungry as she was crying. I was extremely frustrated with this. I felt that she just wanted to make the baby feel full so that she can rest. She also secretly used teats to feed my baby although I had mentioned to her to syringe feed the baby or spoon-feed her only to avoid nipple confusion for the newborn.

Finally unable to take it anymore, I decided to visit the lactation specialist at KKH. The specialist checked me and found that my ducts were blocked. She pressed so hard at various angles on my breasts and it was painful for a few days after that. She said I had actually quite a lot of milk just that the ducts were blocked. She also taught me the lying-down method (which I loved!) The 2-3 hour wakeup during night was exhausting when I used the standard cradle method. Milk production came steadily after that. Always seek help from other sources if your usual source of information/advice is unable to get you further.

Despite these after 2 weeks of getting along, I thought my confinement lady was okay. I did learn a lot of baby care knowledge from her. In fact towards the end of my confinement period, I was rather uncertain of whether we could handle our baby without her.

Handling a Newborn BB

It slowly dawned upon me that those information I learnt at parentcraft lessons could not be remembered and only hands-on experience could reinforce what we learnt.

Haven't we learnt that its better we do than we see than we read?

Right after the delivery I had to wait for my room in the ward.

The after-effects of the epidural made me nauseous and I could not eat anything although I had not eaten for nearly 24 hours.

My baby girl was so cute and cheeky. I had to keep remembering that she was also very soft. Her neck especially needed to be supported when we carry her. She was always swaddled up nicely when brought to me. The nurses would carry the baby to me for breastfeeding. I had always wanted to breastfeed my baby as this is the best gift for her. But it was not as easy as I had thought. No doubt there would only be colostrum at this point for her and not actual milk flow. And baby's gums are so OUCH - hard. It seemed like they have teeth too. My nipples could not withstand the initial trauma of baby's frequent suckling. And frequent means every 1 and a half to 2 hours. After fumbling with breastfeeding her, she still seemed unsatisfied and kicked away her swaddling blanket. I never remembered how to swaddle her properly from my previous lessons and only learnt this properly from my confinement lady when i went home. I also applied lots of lanolin to my nipples but they still cracked from over-use.

It was lots of soup for every meal. 2 small pots of double-boiled soup. Lots of fluid is good to increase breast milk production.

My baby started passing black poos called meconium. My hubby and I did not know how to clean her or to wrap with diapers.

My hubby and I attended lessons in the ward for first time parents - how to breastfeed and how to bathe babies. My girl was the model for the bathing session and we recorded down those precious moments

The frequent feedings and constant crying of the baby after feeding meant that I did not really sleep long each time.

It gets worse after I was discharged from hospital.

Arrival of My First Baby Girl :)

After around 11 hours of contraction, the mid-wife tried to lead me to push to deliver my girl. It was around 10 plus in the mornng on 16 Nov 2007.

All those techniques learnt in Parentcraft lessons could hardly be remembered. I just remembered that I had to breathe in before I push and not the other way round. Also the buttocks need to be pressed downwards so that the correct force could be used to get the baby out.

The mid-wife had to remind me again and again of the breathing techniques. At this stage I regretted having epidural because although it only dulls the sensation of the contraction and not totally eliminate me sensing the contractions, I thought the real pain should be able to give the stimulus to push harder. Also with the epidural I could not really push as hard as I would like to. The analgesic just numbs all the sensation in the lower body.

I tried many times to push the baby out. The mid-wife cried," I can see your baby's head. She has a lot of hair." Seconds later the baby's head goes back into my birth canal. Soon my first vial of epidural exhausted and had to be replaced.

This process repeats itself until the staff nurse detects that the baby's heart rate seemed to slow down. My gynae was called and came to my rescue. An episiostomy was performed for me so that the opening of the birth canal could be widen,

Finally after 1 hour, I delivered my baby girl!! The gynae instructed the staff nurse to suck away the baby's mucus in the mouth. She was put on my chest and she smiled at me. That really melted my heart. She was so bloated like a loaf of bread soaked in water and so wet. On a quick glance, she was not covered with too much vernix. Hmmm.. The coconut water I drank 2 week before delivery helped.

My baby was whisked away to be cleaned up and weighed and my hubby accompanied them.

Next comes my afterbirth. I believe my gynae was skillful. It was just a few tugs and the placenta came out. It was quite awesome to look at the tissue that supported my baby for 10 months in my womb. It resembled a big piece of liver as it was so vascular in nature.

The episiostomy needed to be stitched up too. Then, I appreciated the epidural again . Such mixed feelings.

The delivery experience was really unforgettable and totally imprinted in my memories.